Well, January is almost over, and my New Year's Resolutions have officially been broken! I started out the new year with grand ideas of what I was going to accomplish this year. They were the usual things--be better, thinner, more organized, and just a wee bit closer to perfect. It didn't take long for me to fall short of these ideals and feel like giving up.
I seriously struggle with perfection. If I can't doing something perfect, or at least better than most, I don't want to do it at all. This causes me a TON of frustration and feelings of inadequacy.
I was discussing this with my critique group, and my friend Nichole asked, "Who are you trying to impress?" I've thought a lot about that question since then. The answer I came up with is that I'm simply trying to feel good about myself. Several childhood experiences caused me to doubt my own worth and so I'm continually trying to prove that I'm worthwhile.
Like another friend told me, I've finally decided to just "Stop it!" I've been reading a lot about personal motivation, happiness, and change. I've discovered that I'm perfect and worthwhile just the way I am. Let me repeat that . . .
I'm perfect and worthwhile just the way I am.
And so are you!!
I think it's time that we all resolve to accept and love ourselves exactly where we are. Without all the improvements that we could doubtless make, without the pressure to be better. Without the voice of our mother, or father, or third grade teacher that we carry in our head. What a concept, to just be at peace with who and what we are right now.
Does this mean that we should remain stagnant or refuse to make changes that would benefit our lives? Not at all! It simply means loving yourself now! As President Gordon B. Hinckley said, "You are doing better than you think you are."
I've decided that 2011 is going to be the year of me. I'm bound and determined to learn to love myself this year. I'll let you know how it goes.
The day will come when the risk it takes to remain tight inside the bud is more painful than the risk it takes to bloom.
