Perfect Just the Way You Are

 

Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you were meant to be. ~George Sheehan

I LOVE the feeling of new beginnings--my birthday, a new school year, and best of all a brand new year!  I've got a clean slate--a fresh new start, and another chance to commit to the health, love, and life I want for myself.  Today (and everyday for that matter) I get to consciously design my destiny for 2012 exactly the way I want it to be.

As this year began, I felt hopeful.  I had grand ideas about what I was going to accomplish.  They were the usual things--be more spiritual, thinner, more organized, and just a wee bit closer to perfect.  I read books about goal setting, made a list of things I'd like to achieve, and then . . . froze!  I couldn't start any of them. You see, I have this disorder called PERFECTIONISM.  If I can't do something perfect, I shy away from doing it at all.  Now, I know this is stupid.  I mean, honestly, if I can't eat perfectly or exercise every day of the week, 3, 4, or 5 out of 7 is better than nothing, right?   Intellectually, I get that.  But it's still something I struggle with every single day.  It causes me a TON of frustration and feelings of inadequacy.

As a result, I've been reading a lot about personal motivation, happiness, and change; looking for something that will make a difference in my perspective. One author advocates telling yourself, "I'm perfect and worthwhile just the way I am." Let me repeat that . . .

I'm perfect and worthwhile just the way I am. 

And so are you!!

I think it's time that we all resolve to accept and love ourselves exactly where we are. Without all the improvements that we could doubtless make, without the pressure to be better. Without the voice of our mother, or father, or third grade teacher that we carry in our head.

What a concept, to just be at peace with who and what we are right now. Does this mean that we should remain stagnant or refuse to make changes that would benefit our lives? Not at all! It simply means loving yourself now!

So that is my goal this year.  I'm going to learn to love myself.

As far as dealing with the issue of perfection, I've decided rather than tackling everything at once, I'm going to make one small goal per month.  I figure working on the same thing all month will allow the necessary time to cultivate some new healthy habits.  I figure if I work on 12 new habits this year and if even half of them stick, I'll be closer to my ultimate goals of health and happiness.

How about you?  What are your goals for this year, and what's your plan of attack?

The Story of My Life

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
By Portia Nelson

Chapter 1

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in
I am lost . . . I am helpless
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter 2

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place.
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter 3

I walk down the same street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in . . . it’s a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter 4

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter 5

I walk down another street.

Luckily, I think I'm in Chapter 4.  I can't wait to see what Chapter 5 brings!

"My Favorite Things" Giveaway

It's hard to believe the release date of my book, I'll Know You by Heart, is only eight days away.  I'm celebrating with all of my faithful blog followers by holding a "My Favorite Things" giveaway.  I wish I could afford to give prizes to all of you.  Your love and support mean so much to me, and your comments always brighten my day.  I've made some amazing friends, and I hope to meet all of you in person some day.

Here's how the contest will work.  I'm going to list some of my favorite things which I'm giving away as prizes, as well as how to enter below, so keep reading.  I'll take entries through Monday night, March 15th, then I'll announce the winner(s) on my release date, Tuesday, March 16th.

Favorite Item #1

Cute Socks

For as long as I can remember, I've loved cute socks.  My husband teases me about my crazy socks not matching my clothes, but I don't care.  They make me feel amazing.  The picture above is not the exact socks--I haven't bought them yet.  But, I promise, they will be just as cute.

Favorite Item #2

Mary Kay Moisturizer

Mary Kay's Oil-free Hydrating Gel is my all-time favorite moisturizer.  It is cool and refreshing--it feels like a drink of water when you're thirsty.  I love it because it doesn't leave my face feeling oily or sticky.  [$30.00 retail value.]

Favorite Item #3

Pajamas

I LOVE pajamas!  More often than not, if I'm home and don't intend to go out, I'm wearing pajamas.  I admit, I even occasionally wear them to Walmart, late at night when I hope nobody will see me.  :)  I bought this cute pair to give away since they go along with the Heart theme of my book.

Favorite Item #4

Silver Jewelry

Going along with the heart theme, I'm giving away this silver charm bracelet.  The heart charm is actually a watch.  Cute!  I love all jewelry, but silver is my favorite.

Favorite Item #5

Chocolate

Normally, white chocolate is not my favorite, but I love the white chocolate Lindor Truffles.  Other than these, I prefer dark chocolate--the darker, the better.

Favorite Item #6

Stickers

I've always loved stickers.  I remember trading them at recess in elementary school.  Back then, I was so desperate for new ones, I even took the sticker off the Chiquita bananas to put in my sticker book.  I'm giving away all the Pebbles, Inc. stickers pictured above.  [$30 value]

Favorite Item #7

My Critique Group

I have the most amazing critique group ever!  Tristi, Keith, Heather, Nichole, and Danyelle have helped me improve my writing more than any other thing.  I'd be lost without their suggstions.  We've been meeting for two years, and between all of us, we've critiqued 14 full manuscripts and are currently working on five more. 

I love these guys, but no, I can't give them to you.  But, we thought it would be fun to invite one lucky winner to join one of our critique sessions.  So, if you are local, I'll let you know when and where we are meeting, and you'll be invited to come and bring a chapter to be critiqued.  Just be warned, sometimes things get a little silly.   If the winner is not local, all these amazing writers have agreed to critique one chapter for you.  I promise you won't be disappointed!

Favorite Item #8

My Book!!

I love my book, and I hope that you will too.  I'm giving away an autographed copy.  So, what's it about?  Read on--

What happens when the love you thought you found is the one that puts you in mortal danger? A story of pain, survival, and love, I’ll Know You by Heart is a deeply emotional journey of one woman’s determination to save herself and her family from a life of abuse and fear, and culminates with her finding love again. 

Now, onto the details.

I haven't decided yet how I'm going to divide the prizes.  I could give each item away individually, or put them all together for one lucky winner.  It depends on how many entries I get.  Every time I do a contest, my biggest fear is that nobody will enter--so if you are reading this, PLEASE enter.

You get one entry for each of the following:

*Leave a comment telling me which item you'd most like to win.

*Follow this blog.  (Click on the follow link on the right sidebar.)

*Become a fan of Kimberly Job, Author on Facebook.

*Follow me on Twitter.

*Tweet about this contest.

*Post about this contest on Facebook.

*Visit my website and click on contact me to sign up for my newsletter.

For five additional entries, blog about the contest and leave me a link to your blog post.

Honest Scrap!

My darling friend, Elizabeth Mueller, recently gave me two awards, Honest Scrap, and The Lovely Blog award.  For those who don't know Elizabeth, check out her blog.  She is super talented.  Her blog posts always inspire me, and she throws in plenty of fun as well.  Not only is she a great writer, she is an amazing artist.  You can see some of her artwork here.

For the Honest Scrap award, I'm supposed to share 10 honest facts about me.  I'll try to come up with things you might not already know. 

1)  I LOVE reality TV.  I know it's a big waste of time, but I can't help myself.  Currently, I'm watching The Bachelor, The Biggest Loser, and American Idol.

2)  If I'm at home, I'm usually wearing pajamas.  Okay, I admit, I wear them to Walmart too. 

3)  People often think I'm snotty, but I'm just uncomfortable in social settings, so I avoid people if at all possible.  (Any tips on overcoming this are more than welcome.)

4)  I love colorful, crazy socks.  My husband tells me they don't match what I'm wearing, but I don't really care.

5)  I sometimes feel guilty that I don't seem as passionate about writing as some of my friends.  I like it--I really do--it's just not my first priority.

6)  I'm a high-school dropout.  Gasp!  Okay, I finished later and even got a Bachelor degree, so that makes up for the follies of my youth.  Right??

7)  I generally get along better with men than women.  I don't really have any girl friends I can just hang out with.  (Working on this one, though!)

8.  I love being with my teenage kids and their friends.  They make life fun and interesting.  Maybe I just need to grow up?  Ya think?

9.  I am Directionally challenged.  I would get terribly lost without my darling husband.  Never take me into the middle of a city and drop me off.  I'd be lost forever.

10.  I love, love, love to learn new things.  If I'm not constantly trying to figure out something new, I go crazy.  My latest attempt is trying to learn html so that I can make all my blogs cool.  You'll be seeing some new blogs from me as I practice all the new things I'm learning.

Now I get to pass this fun (??) award on to 5 unsuspecting bloggers:

Keith Fisher 

Nichole Giles

Tristi Pinkston

Heather Justesen

(Okay, I cheated!  These are the members of my critique group.)

And one more:

C.L. Beck (Cuz she's so dang funny!)

100 Things About Me

A tradition here in Blogland dictates that when you reach 100 posts, you list 100 things about yourself. Well, this is my 100th post, so here goes--

My 100 things in no particular order:

1. I was born in October.

2. I grew up in Orem, Utah.

3. I got married when I was 17.

4. I had my first baby when I was 19.

5. The only other state I've lived in was Florida.

6. I lived there for 6 months.

7. I hated all the big bugs!!

8. I was relieved to come back to Utah.

9. I now have 6 kids, 3 girls and 3 boys.

10. My favorite colors are black and pink.

11. I have a Bachelor's degree in Business Management.

12. I own an online retail scrapbooking business.

13. I'm an aspiring LDS Fiction author.

14. I recently finished my first book.

15. I work as a transcriptionist at Brigham Young University.

16. I also work as a Digitial Preservation Specialist at The Generations Network. (Graveyard! Yuk!)

17. I'm almost single! (Long Story.)

18. I recently discovered Facebook and I'm having fun connecting with old friends.

19. I have the most awesome writing critique group ever!

20. I'm also a member of ANWA.

21. I used to trade Foreign Currency. (The market is too scary these days!)

22. I'm the only girl in my family.

23. I have two brothers.

24. I lived in a foster home for a while when I was 15.

25. I love Mexican food.

26. My favorite fruit is raspberries.

27. I love chocolate--the darker the better.

28. I like to cook.

29. I have burping contests with my 11 year old. (Gross! I know.)

30. My kids friends love me. (I'm cool, what can I say?)

31. I love to read.

32. Historical fiction is my favorite.

33. I've tried homeschooling, but found I wasn't very good at it.

34. I broke my elbow when I was 8 months pregnant.

35. I had surgery on it later.

36. I hate dogs!

37. I really hate dogs!

38. Okay, I admit it. Dogs scare me.

39. When I was a kid my mom would hear me screaming and running down the street and know I'd seen a dog. Did I mention don't like dogs?

40. I'm not really fond of any animals.

41. I play the piano.

42. I like to sing, but I'm not that great.

43. I have had up to four kids playing competition soccer at a time and watch TONS of soccer games every year.

44. I drive them to practice too.

45. Sometimes I think I should just paint taxi on the side of my car.

46. I really like to go on cruises.

47. My whole family runs marathons, and I'm determined to run with them someday.

48. I cut my head open falling off the merry-go-round when I was two.

49. If you knew my over-protective mother, you would never believe that could happen.

50. My dad must have been watching me.

51. My dad is my greatest hero.

52. I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

53. I didn't go to church between the ages of 13 and 16.

54. I think it's really hard to think of 100 things about myself. :)

55. One of my favorite movies is "Savannah Smiles."

56. I like to keep things organized.

57. I hate to be late.

58. My house isn't always clean.

59. When my house is too clean, I'm ornery because I yell at everyone to keep it that way.

60. So I've decided everyone is happier with a little clutter.

61. I like to cook.

62. But I don't have a lot of time, so we've been eating way too many frozen things lately.

63. I'm determined to do better.

64. On my birthday in October, I promised myself this would be my year to get healthy again.

65. I'm making slow progress--but still--it's progress.

66. I'm stuck in the middle of a story. I think it's called writer's block. Ask my critique group? They'll tell you all about it.

67. I have to write a chapter for this week and I haven't started yet.

68. I spent Thanksgiving without my kids this week and it was sad. :( (The downside of divorce.)

69. But I get them for Christmas. :)

70. I'm intrigued by family history.

71. I'm related to Keith Fisher. We both have the same great, great, great, (not sure how many greats) grandfather. But we came from different plural wives.

72. I didn't graduate from high school with my class.

73. I graduated from the Adult high school after I was married.

74. I had four kids by the time I graduated from college.

75. I blog for yourLDSneighborhood.com.

76. I also write articles for wisegeek.com.

77. I recently got a blogging job with Prevention magazine. (Don't know the details yet.)

78. I also do some independent contract work for Morningside Partners.

79. My minor was in accounting.

80. I actually like doing my taxes.

81. I hate my small business bookkeeping though.

82. I want to learn more about digital scrapbooking.

83. I need to learn more about website design.

84. I love learning new things and learning has always been easy for me.

85. I think 84 counts for two!

86. I like to cook, but I hate doing the dishes afterward.

87. I hate laundry. I think my kids purposely put clean clothes in with the dirty ones.

88. I love it when it rains.

89. I like to curl up with a book when it's cold outside.

90. I love soup and rolls on a snowy day.

91. I love to scrapbook, but I don't have much time.

92. I HATE public speaking.

93. I read fast, and even faster when I'm nervous.

94. I'm shy and sometimes people think I'm just snotty. But I'm really not--just shy.

95. I don't like to take naps during the day. I wake up with a headache.

96. I don't fold socks. We have a laundry basket full of them. My poor kids just have to dig through the basket when they need some. Needless to say, their socks often don't match.

97. I'm really good at spelling.

98. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.

99. My kids make life worth living. I'd be lost without them.

100. I'm thankful for all the new friends I've made through blogging! You guys are awesome! Thanks for visiting my blog and including me in your circle.

I got Tagged!

I've had so much fun watching all of my friends get tagged and seeing parts of their lives and homes we wouldn't normally see. Well, I guess it's my turn. My friend, Heather, tagged me. I've been putting it off, using my broken computer as an excuse. But I got a temporary replacement computer, so I guess I can't put it off any longer. So here goes--sorry my pictures aren't the greatest. I took them all with my phone.

1) My Kitchen Sink

My mom would die if she knew I was putting a picture of my kitchen sink on the internet with *gasp* dirty dishes in it. I think that's what the sink is for, a temporary holding spot for dirty dishes, until I feel like loading the dishwasher.

2) Inside of Fridge

If you look close, you'll see my attempts at being healthy. There's soymilk on the door, broccoli, skim milk, grapes, and yogurt. But don't look too close, or you might also see the whip cream on the top shelf and peach pie on the bottom.

3) Favorite Shoes

I was tempted to just take a picture of my feet, because I really don't like shoes at all. But that would just be gross, so if I have to wear them my preference is definitely sandals. Socks are just way too restrictive. You'll even find me wearing sandals in the winter, and flip flops are my favorite!

4) My Closet

Oh, did you want to see it open? Well, okay--

Here's a picture of one side of my closet. You'll see all of my pants, my little girls dresses, and my shoes in the top. The two sets of drawers in the bottom belong to my two youngest children. On the other side (not pictured) I keep all of my shirts on top, and another son's clothes on the bottom. So yes, in case you weren't keeping count . . . four people share this closet.

5) My Laundry PileLet's see . . . seven people wear one outfit per day (yeah, right! The kids always change at least once.) That's 7 outfits per day times 7 days, that's at least 49 outfits per week that need washing. I have to stay caught up on it, or it quickly spirals out of control. Here's my laundry sorting sytem--towels in the white basket, and then slots for my colored clothes, kids' colored clothes, and whites. It looks like the kids' clothes need washing!

6) What my Kids are Doing Right Now

My oldest, chatting online with her friends.
This daughter loves to follow me around. She was on the bed, talking to me while I worked.
My two littlest. One asleep . . . and the other watching TV and eating a huge sucker.
I had to chase my two sons around to get their pictures, but finally caught this one when they weren't looking. They are playing a game with their little brother.

7) My Favorite Room
The kitchen is my favorite room, because it's where my kids like to hang out--eating, of course. We spend lots of time sitting in the barstools, talking and having fun--and eating!

8) My Most Recent Purchase
No, this is not a picture of the original. I bought an Icee for my son yesterday at BYU because he waited patiently for 3 long hours, while I got a computer problem fixed. The original Icee is long gone, but it was tasty!

9) My Fantasy Vacation

A cabin in the mountains

With beautiful scenery

Sitting by the fire

Sleeping in and breakfast in bed

Or, sitting outside in a hot tub

Watching the sunset, with someone I love.

(And writing, of course!)

10) Self Portrait

I really HATE pictures!

WOW! I think that is the longest thing I've ever posted. Hope you had fun getting a look at my crazy life! Now for the real fun . . . I get to tag 3 unsuspecting, innocent people:

Keith Fisher - LDS Writers Blogck (Without whom I wouldn't have started on this whole crazy writing and blogging journey.)

Autumn Ables - Queen of Chaos (My sister in spirit who always has such fun music on her blog!)

Christine Bryant - Day Dreamer (Because she's an amazing writer and I want her to blog more often. :)

Tag, You're It!

Tristi Pinkston tagged me, so I have to share seven things about myself and then tag seven other people.

The rules are as follows:
1. Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

This was hard for me. I asked my family members (since there are seven besides me) for suggestions, but there’s no way I want to publish what they all said. So, here goes.

1) I got married when I was seventeen. (I definitely don’t recommend it!)
2) The one thing I always wanted, but never got—a sister. Although, now that I’m older, I don’t know if I’d want to share my mom with another girl. It’s kind of nice to have her to myself.
3) My entire family runs marathons, so I’ve made a long-term goal to run one with them sometime. I’m tired of always being on the sideline.
4) I had four kids by the time I graduated from college. I got an accounting degree by taking independent study and evening classes.
5) I hate to miss the beginning of a movie. If I miss the beginning, I'd rather not watch it. I'm constantly driving my family crazy telling them to be quiet so I can see the beginning and understand what's happening. It's like starting a book in chapter 3. Don't do it.
6) My kids say I snore, but I don’t believe them.
7) I sold over $100,000 in products on eBay last year, so if you have any questions about eBay, I’m the one to ask.

I’m tagging:

Autumn

Ali

Don

Christine

Heather

Frank

Karlene

Sorry if any of you have been tagged recently. It was hard to find people who hadn't!

All About Me

I've been contemplating starting a blog for a while now. Well, with a little urging from Tristi Pinkston, I've decided to start one. I'm new to this blogging world so be patient with me and I'll learn as I go. I guess I'll start by introducing myself.

I grew up in Orem, Utah and have basically lived in Utah all my life (not counting the short stint in Florida, where I couldn't stay because there were too many big bugs). I've been married for 18 years and I have six children ranging in age from 4-15. They are the greatest blessing and the biggest challenge I've ever faced. I'm homeschooling two of them this year, which brings it's own set of challenges and new things to learn.

I'm an aspiring LDS fiction writer. I'm fairly new to the world of writing, but I've been caught up in the whirlwind. It's hard to find time to write, but once I sit down and start, it's hard to stop. It's almost addicting. I recently attended the LDStorymakers conference for the first time. I made some new friends and learned lots! I've also joined a critique group and I can already tell my writing has improved from the things I've learned so far.

I also have an online scrapbooking business that I run from home. I sell discounted scrapbooking supplies. So, if you love scrapbooking like me-check it out: www.kimsscrapshack.com

Well, it's way past this mom's bedtime, but I'll write again soon. Bye for now!

About the Author

I was born and raised in Utah, the middle child in a family of three children, and the only girl. I attended Mountain View High School, but graduated from Alpine School District Adult High School—that’s a story I’ll tell you more about later.

I attended Brigham Young University and Utah Valley University (back then it was still Utah Valley State College) where I graduated with a Bachelor’s degree in Business Management. By the time I finished my degree I had four small children, which made obtaining that diploma feel like a minor miracle. I later had two more children, making six total—three girls and three boys. Being a mother is one of the most fulfilling aspects of my life.

After a difficult 18 year marriage and divorce, I met the love of my life, Scott Job. I now know what it means when people say, “You’ll just know when you find the right one.” We were married in August of 2009 and combined our families, now totaling 10 children! We have seven boys and three girls. They keep us busy running between ballroom, soccer, basketball, and football.

Combining two families is an adventure, bringing many struggles, lots of giggling, some inevitable fighting (after all we have five very active boys between the ages of 8 and 12), and immeasurable happiness. Needless to say, there's never a dull moment at the Job household.

I work at Brigham Young University as a transcriptionist for the deaf. It is an amazing job and feeds my craving for new knowledge. In addition to reading and writing, I like to cook, scrapbook, hang out with my kids and their friends, and spend time doing pretty much anything with my husband.

I have always loved to read. Whenever I feel overwhelmed with my own life, I like to escape into the lives of the characters in a story. I tried writing throughout my youth, winning a few small awards along the way, but never taking it very serious.

I met a friend who was a writer and mentioned that I had considered writing a book someday. Through his encouragement I decided to attempt writing my own novel. I soon realized I knew very little about the craft of writing. Learning new things has always been pleasurable for me, so I embraced the challenge. I studied many writing books, attended conferences, and joined an amazing critique group.

Now, almost two years later, my first novel I’ll Know You by Heart is being published by Valor Publishing Group. At times it seems surreal, but I’m very excited about this new venture in my life and look forward to the personal growth I know it will bring.

To read more fun, goofy, and interesting facts about me, click here.